|Into the Portal by Shari Sherman ©2017|
My mother passed away a year ago Sunday. I have finally come to look at the span of the year as a "writeoff". It was a year of feeling uninspired to paint, to teach, to write. Yes, there have been sparks here and there. But nothing that felt like catching. Doodles and stitches and splashes of watercolor and ink. Just colors and lines meandering about. Late last year I ended up taking a JOB because my inspiration had dried up. Thankfully, this allowed me to take any pressure off my art, off my projects.
I knew this week was going to be a rough one, but I had no idea how rough. Fast forward to, Thursday, March 16, my husband's birthday, and our beloved sweet dog, Maui, passed away. I don't want to write about it. I'm still in the stage where I expect to see him here. Anyone who has ever loved a dog and lost a dog knows.
But an interesting thing happened. There I was engulfed in sadness, just like I was a year before, but this time, I immediately felt like painting my dog. Just as I have done many, many times in the past for my clients who have also loved and lost. It is therapy for me, A way of prolonging the connection, of making sure the channel stays open. So I got out my paints and started painting. Feeling Inspired. All kinds of thoughts going through my head with each stroke, mixing the paints, choosing the brushes...mostly remembering how easy this is for me. For a whole year, it has felt hard and difficult and muddy. And now, ease.
So, this year on Sunday, I lit a candle for my mom and stood at my table painting, the happiest that I've been in a long time...well, in about a year.
Until next time, Lovebeams to you!